On Gratitude

I say "please" and "thank you" a lot. Partly because I was raised to be courteous, but also partly because, as a character in Blast From The Past said, "Manners are a way of showing others we respect them." After all, courtesy is the lubricant that greases the wheels of civilized society.

So far today I've talked to multiple people on every floor of the hospital. I've said thank you to most of them. There was the family that I thanked for waiting until visiting hours actually started to come in for a visit, the staffing clerk who found some extra nurses for evening shift, the charge nurse who assured me it would be no problem to take a bunch of new admissions as long as she got extra staff, just to name a few. To my way of thinking, I am saying that I approve of these people's actions. I realize they don't need my approval, but when I'm on the receiving end of sincere thanks for merely doing the job I'm paid to do, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That's a feeling I like to share. It takes no effort to be nice rather than nasty. Most days anyway.

There was a preteen boy ahead of me at Tim Horton's just a little while ago. After he'd made his purchase and walked away, I asked the counter lady if he'd said "please" or "thank you" to her. No, he hadn't. She and I commiserated on the lack of basic courtesy in some people's children. Why is it that so many parents aren't teaching or modeling good manners? It isn't rocket science, you know. Common sense, after all, if you're nice to others they will ususally respond in kind, coupled with the Golden Rule learned as toddlers: Do Unto Others.........

So let's all decide to make someone else's day - say thank you to someone and watch them glow with appreciation. It doesn't cost anything, and I can say from experience that the warm fuzzy feeling goes both ways.

Thank you for your attention.

I Just Don't Get It

I just don't. I'm referring to the madness that has overtaken this city regarding the Oilers' progression to the Stanley Cup semi-finals. The hysteria, the near-riots, the screaming, stamping of feet, and outright noise this series of events has spawned mystifies me. For God's sake, it's just bloody hockey! It's not like the ultimate fate of the universe depends on this series of games, people!

What's ironic is that the knuckle-dragging denizens of this city don't even raise an eyebrow about the tragedies going on every day. They register no excitement about the new advances in diabetes treatment or cancer-fighting that occur here. There is no jumping up and down about how many young people are living on the streets. Abused women merit no reaction from the sports fans, either.

No, I just don't get it. Every time a hockey game airs right now, there is excessive booze-swilling, much honking of car horns, and of course, fistfights and other violence committed against opposing fans. Don't we have enough to do in our ERs without this insanity? Isn't there enough rude behavior on the streets without using a hockeygame as an excuse for more? What's next - murder in the name of sports partisanship? No, wait, someone tried that already last week.

It's a damned shame this much energy is never expended in the name of the really important causes. Oh, and in case you didn't get it, I hate hockey.

They're not ALL pervert axe murderers.

The title is in reference to a comment my redneck boyfriend once made regarding my expressed intention to actually meet in person some of the people I 'knew' from the internet: "Anyone you meet on the internet is a pervert axe murderer!" He's wrong, I have several friends that I initially met online, and none of them is a pervert or a homicidal wielder of axes.

I have to explain that I came to computer geekdom late in life, as when I went to high school a mainframe occupied an entire floor. It wasn't until my employer put me in a temporary position that involved the use of a pc that I discovered the internet. Being older and cautious, I approached the whole thing carefully, first setting up a Hotmail account so I could post on a travel board without using my work email (the only email account I had at first). In early 2002 I took the plunge and got my own computer at home, and the world wide web beckoned.

It was in November of 2002 that I met my first internet acquaintances in the flesh. A meeting, called a "pissup", had been planned by some of the posters on a particular board who lived in our city. Sadly, the instigator of the event wasn't able to attend, but I did meet another who lived here, as well as a very kind, courteous, and fascinating gentleman from Wisconsin, and two delightful ladies, one from Illinois and the other from Saskatchewan. It certainly allayed any slight apprehensions I may have had when the Wisconsin visitor plied me with very delicious sharp cheese from his home state. We all met for a walk, then later that evening had drinks and sandwiches together. Not one axe in evidence, either!

August of 2003 was when I really took the plunge - in addition to being one of the planners of another pissup here, I had two of the visiting attendants stay at my place. Needless to say, I didn't let this fact out around my hyper-paranoid boyfriend. Surprise, surprise, no perversion or murders were committed the entire weekend. One of my old and dear friends joined us, and so enjoyed the company that he became a regular on the bulletin board we all frequented. That friend has just returned from a holiday in the Caribbean with a couple of our mutual internet buddies.

I'm not a wide-eyed naïf, nor am I gullible by any stretch of the imagination. I know that there are unscrupulous types out there who use the internet for criminal and nefarious means, and that sexual deviants roam the web, preying on the easy to con and the young. I do know, though, that if I am sensible and judicious in where I visit and with whom I communicate, I run a good chance of making more good friends in cyberspace. And there's not an axe murderer in sight.

There's One More Angel in Heaven

This is going to be about one of the remarkable people I've met via the internet. I've met a lot of good people that way, some I've even had the pleasure of meeting IRL, but this person, Cindy, was very special. Sadly, the world lost this wonderful soul on Sunday evening.

The lady's handle on the forum in question, really more of an online community for us regulars, was "onmicindy". She lived in the New Orleans area, had a husband, two mostly grown-up sons, and a couple of cats. She also had leukemia. Cindy was one of those rare individuals who always saw the glass as half full without being nauseatingly Pollyannaish about it, had a spicy quip in the face of adversity, looked for the silver lining in even the darkest of clouds, and harbored an amazing steadfast faith that sustained her. When Hurricane Katrina forced her and her sons to evacuate, leaving her husband working for the town they lived in and separating Cindy from her boys and her cats, she gave thanks that they were all alive and unhurt - even though their home was destroyed by the hurricane. She had to move in with a relative in a colder area of the U.S., and was most graciously grateful to all of those from the bulletin board who sent money, clothes, and so on to help her and her family out. Instead of playing the pity card, she rejoiced that her health care insurer covered her ongoing cancer treatments while she was living away from Louisiana. We all celebrated with her when her sons safely made it to join her, then later when we learned the family's two cats were alive and well at a shelter. After spending the winter in a Midwestern state, Cindy and her family were reunited in a FEMA trailer back in their home town.

Cindy was a strong yet gentle lady who served as a shining example of strength and persistence. When, on another Delphi forum she and I frequented, the hostess of the one where we 'met' was being disparaged, Cindy jumped right in and defended that hostess with perfectly polite dignity. She and her family weren't well-off, even before losing all they had to Katrina, but she did whatever she could to help those less fortunate than she. Even in death, she is helping others - Project Cindy, started by another regular on the forum, has a goal of collecting 400 warm scarves by September 1 to be donated to those in need. People all over the world are knitting or crocheting or sewing winter scarves for this cause. Those who don't have the skill to make them are pledging cash donations. Imagine, the power to inspire one human being has! By simply being the warm, wonderful, brave and nurturing lady she was, Cindy is continuing to do what she loved to do - give to others.

Since I learned of Cindy's passing, I have been making an effort to adopt some of her traits: to be more tolerant of the bad drivers around me and not curse them aloud, to present a more positive and cheerful face to my coworkers, and to try to think less of my wants and more of the needs of others. Her example is a shining one, and I only hope I can do her memory proud. Since I believe that death is not the final closing of the door, so to speak, I know that Cindy is watching over all of us and is, hopefully, smiling.